Violet - Feeling Exposed (8)

Violet - Feeling Exposed

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer
Inside of me threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand

And breathe, just breathe

                                        Anna Nalick (2AM [Breathe])

As if a seven-thirty start time for school wasn’t early enough, Daniel had called me last night at ten and asked me to meet him at seven in the music room.  He even offered to pick me up, which was even stranger still; he was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination.  I tried not to over think it, but dwelling on things was one of my specialties.  I hoped he wasn’t trying to weasel his way out of going to the Prom.  I had already ordered a $300 dress and purchased a matching purse, pumps and accessories. 

I arrived at school at 7:05 and anxiously hustled to my destination.  Daniel met me at the door to the music pod.  “So what’s this all about?  You were so mysterious last night.  Is everything all right?”

Daniel nodded.  “Everything’s fine.  This is actually Erin’s doing.  He told me to wait for you.”

I wondered what in the world Erin could be up to that would require such covert secrecy.  “You really have no idea what’s going on Daniel?”

“I swear, Violet.  I have no clue what Erin has concocted.”  I didn’t believe him, but I followed him into the music pod anyway.  Erin was sitting in one of the little practice rooms with his guitar strapped over his shoulder.  He smiled when he saw us.

“So what’s this about Erin?”  Danny asked.  “I don’t normally like to get up for school even a minute earlier than is absolutely necessary.  You should know that.”

Erin shook his head.  “I know.  I think this will be worth it.”

I had to interrupt them.  “I brought your backpack.  Can we swap?  I was just about to go talk to Mr. Zimmerman.  I think it’s still early enough for us to switch partners.  Do you want to go with me?  I think he’s in his office already.”

Erin shook his head again.  “I don’t think we need to, Violet.  I want you to just shut up and listen to something for a minute.”  He started strumming his guitar and I crossed my arm across my chest and waited.

Erin began to sing,

I can still hear your voice

From across a crowded room

Every time I hear this tune

It makes me think of you

I can still see your face

Yet it’s only in my mind

I can still hear you laughin’

And feel the warmth of your embrace

He stopped and looked up at us.  Daniel and I had been to the opry to hear Erin many times now, and we were both big fans of Erin’s singing talent.  This new song was no exception. 

Daniel was the first to speak.  “Wow!  That’s great!  Is that what you’re singing at the opry on Saturday?  I’ve never heard that one before.  Whose song is that?  Where did you find it?” 

“It’s Violet’s.”  Erin looked straight at me, his eyes holding my gaze as I slowly realized what was happening.

“What did you say?”  I finally managed to sputter.

Erin kept staring at me.  “I got the lyrics from your notebook.  I just worked out a melody and a few chords.  I think we could use this for our project.  You wrote the lyrics, and I’ll write the music.” 

Daniel wrapped an arm around me and squeezed for good measure.  “See, Violet, he’s good for something after all!  I can hardly believe it!”

Erin shrugged.  “I can hardly believe it myself.  Violet, your poems are amazing.  I had no idea.”  He waited expectantly. 

My brain was swimming.  I couldn’t believe this!  What nerve they had!  I finally found the ability to speak.  “I had no idea you were a snoop and a thief!  I can’t believe you read my notebook!”  I dropped my backpack and ran down the hall.  I kept running and I didn’t look back.  I ran out of the music pod and down the hall towards the outer doors.  I pushed them open and kept going out into the parking lot.  I ran to the end of the sidewalk and made the turn around the side of the building, where I finally collapsed. 

I hugged my knees up to my chest, and the tears flowed freely down my face.  I was so angry, but couldn’t decide who the worst offender was.  I didn’t write my poetry for other people; it was my outlet for my feelings.  I couldn’t believe that they had conspired together to orchestrate this series of events.  I put my head down on my knees and tried to pull myself together.  As I was plotting my murderous revenge, Daniel appeared.

“There you are.  I was worried about you.  I didn’t know you could run so fast!”  He laughed, trying to ease the tension.  He stopped abruptly when I finally picked up my head and turned it in his direction.  I know I must have looked pretty bad with mascara running down my face and puffy red eyes, but I really didn’t care about Daniel right now. 

“I don’t really want to see you right now, and I definitely don’t want to talk either.  Please go away.”  I stared at him, waiting.

Daniel put his hands in his pockets.  “Violet, are you sure that’s what you want?   Cause a lot of times girls say one thing but really mean something else entirely.”

“I’m sure.  Make no mistake that I mean what I am saying.  Now please go.”  I put my head back down on my knees.  Unfortunately, Daniel did not listen to me.  I heard him sit down on the sidewalk next to me.

“I’m just going to sit here with you then.”  We sat there in silence for a few minutes, but Daniel couldn’t stay quiet.  “I think that song is amazing, Violet.  You inspired Erin by what you wrote.  So much that he actually picked up his guitar and found a way to share it musically.  You did that, you know?  I thought he’d be singing other people’s songs his whole life.  But now I just don’t know.  I think you inspired him.  I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”   

I thought about that for a while.  Finally I unwound myself, wiped my eyes and stood up.  I turned to face Daniel.  “Let’s go tell Erin he has a song to finish.  I plan on getting an ‘A” on this project.”

Daniel grinned.  “Lead the way, my lady.  Lead the way!”