I woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried, been carried away, away
But I know something is coming, I don't know what it is
But I know it's amazing, can save me
My time is coming I'll find my way out of this longest drought
And it feels like today I know, it feels like today I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missing, the one thing I'm wishing
The last sacred blessing and hey it feels like today, feels like today
Rascal
Flatts (Feels Like Today)
When Daniel dropped me off at home, I knew that he was
angry, but I didn’t acknowledge that I knew.
It wouldn’t have mattered when I actually told Daniel that I was not
going to Mizzou with him; it still would have accomplished the same thing –
mainly pissing him off. He had never
asked me what I wanted to do; he just blindly assumed that I was going to
follow him. I held onto a cardinal
belief that there is a distinct difference between lying to someone, and just
not telling them. The bottom line is
that I just didn’t tell Daniel about my plans; I never lied to him.
I had about an hour before I needed to report to the
video store for my shift, so I decided that a short nap would be in order. I flopped down on my bed and set my alarm for
thirty minutes and closed my eyes. About
5 minutes later, the phone rang. It
figures! Even in the year 2002, my
mother had continued to opt out of having an answering machine or have caller
ID. So if you wanted to know who was
calling, you had to actually be home, and get to the phone before it stopped
ringing.
I hopped up and ran for the kitchen. The phone was going on its fifth ring – which
is usually when most people give up – when I breathlessly picked up the
receiver.
“Hello?”
“Hey Sis! It’s
me!” Getting to talk to Morgan always
made my day, even if she was interrupting my precious nap time.
“What’s up? You
just went back to LA yesterday. You miss
us that much already?” I joked.
“No, it’s not that.
I wanted to talk to you about your song, Vi.” (Note: For the record,
Morgan is the only person I let call me that; she is my older sister, after
all.)
“Okay I guess.
What about it?”
“I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure, but I
can’t wait. I think I may be able to get
someone to buy your song for a movie.”
I was dumbfounded.
“Morgan, are you kidding? You’re
not playing a joke on me, are you?”
“No Vi, I am 100% serious about this. I already talked to Mom and Dad earlier. I want you to come out to LA and record a
demo so I can play it for the folks at the studio. Can you get away next week?”
“I guess I could ask for a couple of days off at the
store. Since it’s summer, we should have
plenty of coverage.” Then it dawned on
me. “What about Erin?”
“Oh. Well that’s
one of the other reasons I called. I
need to get his number and talk to his dad about coming out, too.”
“You know Morgan, if I was talking to anyone else, I
would not believe this right now.” I was
still having a hard time, even though I knew she was definitely on the
level. “I’m going to have to call Erin
first; he’s never going to believe you otherwise.”
“Fair enough. Can
you call him right away? I really want
to get moving on this so we don’t miss our chance to present this to the
producers.” Morgan really did know how
to get down to business.
I nodded. “Sure, I
can call him as soon as I get done talking to you. Mr. Taylor is really nice, so I’m sure he
will be okay with this. Erin is going to
flip!”
Morgan laughed. “I
kind of get that feeling. I did want to
ask you one more thing. I spoke to Erin
briefly after the graduation ceremony, and he said that you’ve written other
songs. Is that true?”
I hesitated. “I
have a journal that he’s read. It’s full
of poems I’ve written. That’s probably
what he’s referring to.”
“Bring it with you, kiddo. I want to see what you’ve got. Now hurry up and call your buddy so I can get
things rolling on my end. Love ya!” And then she was gone, as quickly as Mary
Poppins when the wind changes.
I sat there with the phone in my hand, not quite sure
what I should say to Erin. I dialed his
number and waited.
Ten days later, we were standing in the airport, waiting
to board a plane to Los Angeles. Morgan
had left our tickets open-ended as a precaution, and so I had loaded up my
suitcase until I practically couldn’t get the zipper shut. I had visions of a baggage handler tossing it
a little too carelessly and my clothes exploding in a rainbow of fabric all
over the tarmac as it hit the ground.
Once again, Erin was bouncing off of the walls with
nervous energy. He had wanted to wear
his favorite white Stetson, but thankfully had opted for a Dodgers ball cap
from his collection instead. Standing
next to each other in line, our matching back packs must have made us look like
a set of deranged fraternal twins to people around us; I didn’t care. But I had attached a stuffed Eeyore keychain
to one of my zipper pulls after our mix-up so that we would not get them
confused again.
“I still cannot believe this.” Erin gushed.
“I can’t believe we’re going to record a demo. Please pinch me now.”
I reached for his bicep and squeezed.
“Ow! Ow!” He hollered, a little too loudly. “I was kidding, Violet!” He rubbed his arm.
“Then you shouldn’t have said that, you big baby. That did not hurt you!”
He clutched his chest.
“I am mortally wounded. You
killed me! Now who’s going to play your
song?”
I laughed at his dramatic display. “I am quite sure that I could find a
replacement for you in a hot minute in L.A.
I’m sure good guitar players are a dime a dozen out there.”
“Ouch! Once again,
she cuts right to the quick, ladies and gentlemen! She’s a cold, heartless…”
I put a finger to his lips and cut him off. “You better watch what you say, Mister. I’ll have Morgan put you out on the porch.”
“Muh, muh, mah, muh.”
He responded with my finger still pressed to his mouth.
“If that’s knucklehead speak for ‘yes, ma’am’ then I’ll
remove my finger.”
He nodded, and I took my finger back. “Now that’s more like it.”
“Woman, you really are a pain in my…” He put his fist to his mouth and bit down his
knuckles.
“Ladies and gentlemen, he can be taught!” I clapped in mock excitement.
“That’s okay.
Laugh now. We’ll see who’s
laughing when we hit the runway.”
I really was not a big fan of flying, so mostly I was
goofing around to try and deflect the growing feeling of nausea that was
creeping up from my toes and camping out in my gut. Poking at Erin was distracting me from that
for the moment.
“All right, you win.
I quit. I promise to behave for
the rest of our flight. Tall order for
me, I know, so no smart comments or the deal is off.”
We boarded the plane and took our seats in first class. “I still can’t believe we’re flying out to
L.A. just to record a demo. What a waste
of money! No wonder movies cost so much
to make. And I cannot believe that
stewardess didn’t ask you for ID before pouring you a pre-flight cocktail.”
“It’s the dimples.
Chicks can’t resist.” He showed
them off just to prove his point.
“Well they’ve never done a thing for me, just so we’re
clear.”
“Crystal sweetheart, but I wouldn’t waste them on you
anyway.”
“Oh please! Don’t
make me use my barf bag before we even take off.” We really did sound like a couple of
bickering siblings if anyone listened closely to us. I took out my headphones and CD player from
my purse and set them in my lap. I
stowed my purse under the seat in front of me and then put my headphones on.
Erin stared at me.
“Aren’t you going to keep me company with your witty banter?” He teased.
I rolled my eyes at him.
“Wake me when we get to L.A.” I
closed my eyes and turned up the volume.
