Violet - Everything Changes (24)

Violet – Everything Changes

You’re aching, you’re breaking

And I can see the pain in your eyes

Says everybody’s changing

And I don’t know why

So little time

Try to understand that I’m

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay away

Cause everybody’s changing

And I don’t feel right

                                          Keene Brothers (Everybody’s Changing)                                                    

When you take life one day at a time, it seems to move so slowly.  But before I knew it, I looked up and we’d been out in LA for a year.  Many things had changed for Erin and me during that time.  ‘Our Dance’ appeared in a major motion picture, which brought with it big paychecks.  Four of our other collaborations had been picked up by A-list recording artists, and we were starting to generate considerable buzz.  Venus was keeping us busy with requests, and I could hardly write fast enough to keep up. 

Now in the creative process, sometimes you get it right, and sometimes you don’t.  Our goal was to get it right enough times to keep playing the game.  The problem was that the game had changed on me when I wasn’t looking.  Once we started making money, we had started to loosen up and enjoy ourselves.  Well maybe it’s more appropriate to say that Erin began to enjoy himself, and I was on the cleanup crew. 

Erin had decided that maybe he needed his own space so that he could entertain women in private and had moved into his own apartment a couple of months ago.  His relationship with Hannah had fizzled once he left Kansas City, and it didn’t surprise me in the least that he was out to sow his wild oats again.  I did talk with Hannah from time to time on the phone, but she had wisely stopped asking about him.  It would have killed me to tell her about his antics.

At least twice a week, he wanted to hit a club for “inspiration.”  If inspiration came in a shot glass or a micro-mini skirt and a tube top, then he was certainly looking in the right place.  I tried to make excuses not to go with him; it definitely wasn’t where I wanted to be.  It was a double-edged sword; if I didn’t go with him, I was still getting a drunken phone call at two or three in the morning when he couldn’t make it home on his own. 

Then there were the women.  Most of the time, I only saw them once, if I saw them at all.  They would be slinking down the sidewalk with their strappy sandals in their hand as I pulled up to the curb in front of his apartment building.  Blonde, brunette -- they all started to look the same to me after a while.  Every once in a while, one of them would approach me while we were at a club and try to be friendly, but I made it pretty clear to them that I was not the gatekeeper. 

As for me, I was still living with Morgan.  We had settled into a comfortable routine, and I liked getting to know her better and being friends with her as adults.  She had even agreed to let me get a dog, and I had immediately known what kind of dog I wanted.  I researched several local breeders online and finally went out to meet a puppy last week. 

I had already fallen in love with his picture, so getting to meet him was a real thrill!  Morgan came with me to be my voice of reason, so to speak.  But there wasn’t any way I could have been reasoned with once I actually saw his adorable face and happily wagging tail.  We played for an hour, and I gladly wrote the check for a thousand dollars without even blinking.  It killed me to leave him, but he still needed to be with his mother for a couple more weeks.

All I could talk about on the way home was that blasted puppy.  Morgan must have been ready to vomit.  I begged her to stop at a pet store on the way home so I could get some of the puppy gear that I would certainly need.  She reluctantly conceded and I went about as ape shit as a kid in a candy store and ended up filling two carts.  The trunk and backseat of her car were stuffed with pillows, toys, a crate, leashes, food, shampoo, and anything else the sales associate had recommended.  I was all in – no turning back now.

As we got into the car, Morgan brought up something important.  “So have you thought about a name for this ‘little’ guy?”

I slapped my hand on my knee and looked at her.  “You’re right!  Oh my gosh – I hadn’t even thought about what I am going to call him!”

“Well I’m going to need to know who’s name to add to my string of expletives when I find a pile on my rug somewhere.”  Morgan laughed.

I pursed my lips and thought.  “Well it’s going to have to be a strong name; he’s going to be a big boy.”

“I know.  Did you see the size of his paws, Vi?  Are you sure you want such a beast of a dog to handle?  You’re going to have to take him to the studio with you.”

“I thought about that, believe me.  I’m sure that once he’s been trained properly it will not be an issue.  And for now, he has that puppy cuteness that will let him get away with a little mischief.  Besides, then he will be a good ‘jerk deterrent’ when I go out in public.”

“You sure do have an interesting way of looking at things.”  Morgan drove into the driveway and parked in front of the house.  “All right.  Let’s get this car unloaded and figure out where to put all of this stuff.  When I bought this house, I had no idea I was going to have to share it.”

I gave her my best puppy dog eyes and batted my eye lashes at her.  “You’re the best big sister ever!”

She gagged, but I could tell my shmarminess was getting to her.  “Oh, you know I can’t say no to my favorite little sister.  Now pick up this crate.  I sure hope it fits in the laundry room.”

I blinked and another year had passed by.  My bullmastiff, Samson, had grown into a beast of a dog, topping out at about 130 pounds easily.  He was my fierce protector when we were out in public, and my stalwart companion at home.  I could not go into another room for more than a couple of minutes without him following me.  He tolerated Erin to a point, and would let him pet him if the mood struck his fancy, but he only let  Morgan or me walk him.  That was a little more than disappointing because I would have liked to see him picking up one of Samson’s massive piles (yes, I know I am not being nice). 

Today was my day off from working in the studio, and a welcome day off from Erin.  I took Samson to the local dog park to frolic with some other four-legged friends.  I sat on a bench, watching him and sipping on the requisite iced coffee from the Starbucks around the corner.  Venus came over from across the street and stood up to hug her before she sat down next to me.

“Thanks for meeting me here.”  We had grown close and I considered her one of my best friends; it was just a bonus that she was managing my career as well.

“I love the dog park.  I would have a dog if I didn’t work 12 hour days.  Well and if I wasn’t so self-centered.”

“Samson is no trouble at all.  He’s the only man here that I can count on.”

Venus turned towards me.  “What about Erin?  I thought you two took care of each other.”

I sighed.  “That was the original plan.”

“Not anymore?”

“Well I still take care of him.”  I stared off into the distance.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about Erin, but I didn’t want to pry.  I am a damn good manager, Violet, but wearing a psychiatrist’s hat has never been my strong suit.”

“I’m getting tired of the late night calls when he’s drunk, which is happening more and more frequently.  I had to get a cell phone so that he would stop calling the house and waking Morgan up as well as me.  She had more than a few choice words with him when she saw him last week.  It fell on deaf ears because he didn’t even remember that he had called.”

Venus listened and then measured her words.  “I’ve been trained to overlook excessive behavior because it happens to almost everyone who reaches this level of success in the business.  It didn’t surprise me that he showed up to that premiere last week already drunk.”

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees.  “I’ve been covering for him for a while, but it has gotten to be so incredibly exhausting.  He needs help, but he won’t admit it.”

“I know a couple of great rehab places.  Erin could even do most of it on an outpatient basis so that you two can keep working, if he’ll agree to it.”

“That sounds wonderful, but I’m pretty sure Erin doesn’t think he has a problem.  We may need to do an intervention.”

Venus thought about that for a minute.  “It would not be difficult to make it a ‘required opportunity’ if that’s what needs to happen.  I guess that is going to depend on him.  At least that would take the pressure off of you and make me look like the bad guy, which I do very well.  He’ll need someone to blame at first, and I don’t want him to decide that it’s you.”

“Thanks, Venus.  That means a lot to me.”  I wanted to be strong, but my eyes started to well up with tears.

“Hey, that’s what I do.”  She reached over and patted me on the back.  Samson came over to check in, and Venus patted him on the back.  He started to sniff her purse intently, and I scolded him.

“Samson, stop that.”  I pushed his nose away, and he promptly put it back.  “Are you having trouble listening knucklehead?”

Venus started to laugh.  “He probably smells this.”  She opened her purse and pulled out a small paper sack.  She unrolled the top and reached inside.  “I saw these and couldn’t resist.  They’re new at the bakery near the studio.”  She held out a small dog bone shaped cookie.  Samson sniffed anxiously and then looked at me.

“Are they for dogs?”

“Yes, of course.  They use special flour and peanut butter.  Can he have one?”

“I suppose.  You’re going to be his new best friend, you know that, right?”   I chuckled.  “Go ahead, Samson.  It’s for you.”  I didn’t have to tell him twice; he woofed it down without even chewing it.  Then he looked up at Venus.  “How many more do you have?  He’s going to stare at you until you part with all of them.”

“I bought two.”  She rubbed him behind his ears.  “Here ya go, boy.”  She took the second one out of the bag and held it out.  Samson took the other end from her and scarfed it down as well. 

I looked at Samson.  “Were those cookies good?  I’ll have to see where I can get some more for you.  You better go play.  We’re leaving soon.”  He loped off to join his buddies.

Venus turned to me and searched my face.  “I feel like there’s something else.  You’re holding back.”

I ran a hand through my now dyed honey blonde hair and sighed.  “Yes.  I can hardly believe I’m about to say this.”

“I’ve heard it all.  Just spit it out.”

“I went to pick Erin up last week.  I got there, and he was still attempting to wake up.  So I sat on the couch and waited while he went to grab a shower.  There was a knock on the door, and I went to answer it.  On the other side of the door was a woman I’d never seen before.” 

“When she saw me, she immediately became hostile and wanted to know what the ‘fat chick’ was doing there and where the hell Erin was.  I was a little dumbfounded and so I told her she could sit on the couch and wait for him.  I offered her a drink, and poured her a glass of water.  Then I sat across from her in uncomfortable silence.  When Erin finally emerged from the bedroom, he was a little more than shocked to see that he had company.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention the best part.  When she got up off of the couch, she pulled her shirt tight against her very pregnant belly.”

“Oh brother.”  Venus shook her head, taking it all in.

“No kidding!  He ushered he out onto the deck faster than you can imagine.  I sat down and watched Ellen on TV for a little bit while I waited.  When they finally came back in, he looked a little pale.  He showed her to the door and closed it behind her.  He didn’t say a word about the whole thing, and I didn’t bring it up.  I knew he would have clammed up if I had pressed him for information.  I figured it would come out sooner or later.”

“Wow.  And the plot thickens.”  Venus leaned back on the bench and crossed her legs.  “Do you think he’s responsible for this baby?”

I shook my head.  “I don’t know.  There are so many women and I gave up keeping track a long time ago.  I know Erin.  He’d rather run from a problem than face it head-on.  I’m getting tired of helping him with his disappearing routines.”

Her phone started ringing.  She looked at the display and frowned.  “Sorry, Violet.  I have to take this one.”  She got up from the bench and walked a little ways away so I could not hear what she was saying.

I turned to watch Samson play.  Venus tapped me on the shoulder and I turned towards her.  The white shade her face had turned and the shocked look on her face scared me.

“I don’t know how to say this.  Erin’s been in an accident.  I’m not going to lie to you, Violet.  It’s bad.  He rolled his Jeep several times.  They just got him to the hospital, but he’s not conscious.”

Samson’s leash dropped out of my hand, and a sick feeling came over me.  “Was he drinking?”  I hoped to heaven that it wasn’t true.

Venus blinked hard.  “I don’t know.  We better get to the hospital as soon as possible.”

It was all I could do to even attempt to process her words.  “I’ve got to take Samson home first.  We walked here.”  I had lost the ability to move.

She held me by the elbow and lifted me to my feet.  “I’ll drive you.”