Gillian - Reinforcements (27)

On a river bank with all my friends
A big old rope tied to a limb
And you're a big old wuss if you don't jump in the water

And when that summer sun starts to beatin' down
And you don't know what to do
Grab your swimming trunks, ice up that old Igloo
And drive until the map turns blue…

All you really need this time of year
Is a pair of shades and ice cold beer
And a place to sit somewhere near water

                                                            --Brad Paisley (Water)

When Violet called me, I knew she was on the edge.  I could hear it in her voice, despite her efforts to remain upbeat.  With that in mind, I could hardly say no when she asked me to meet her at the cabin.  I had been there a couple of times with her and knew how special it was to her.  It was her safe place, and I always felt honored that she wanted me to share that with her. 

So I packed up a small suitcase, kissed my husband and two kids goodbye and headed into the mountains.  I thought back to how we met so many years ago – two kids whose moms met while picking blueberries at the neighbor’s patch when we were 4 or 5, and we’ve been best friends ever since.  I hadn’t seen Violet in about five years, but that never seemed to matter; we always picked up right where we left off, and it never felt strange or contrived. 

She was sitting out on the front porch when I creeped down the hill in low gear in my old beat up Jeep.  A huge mastiff lay at her feet with his head turned in my direction.  He looked rather imposing and I’m sure she meant him to ward off unwanted attention as much as kept him around for companionship.  I smiled as I set the emergency brake and hopped out of the side.  I knew that it was safer to keep the doors on, but in the summer I used it to tool around the grounds of our family landscaping business, so I stripped it down.   

“You weren’t kidding about putting it in low gear, were you?  Holy downgrade Batman!”  Violet stood and came down the stairs.  We embraced in a giant bear hug.  She pulled back but kept her hands on my shoulders.

“I’m so happy to see you!  I haven’t talked to anyone in days beside Samson, and he’s still not a great conversationalist, despite my best efforts.”  She grinned at me but I could see the brokenness in her eyes.  “Let’s get your bags and then go swimming.  I know you have a pool at your disposal at home, but there’s nothing like a dip in a lake without chlorine.”

“Sounds good to me!”  I grabbed my bag out of the back and we headed into the cabin.  I had not been there in about a decade, but the place looked exactly the same as I remembered it.  Plopping my suitcase on the bed in the first bedroom, I quickly changed into my classic black one-piece swim suit.  Tan lines criss-crossed across my back, and my freckles stood out in full bloom across my face and chest – one of the hazards of working out in the sun through the spring and summer. 

Violet knocked on the door.  “I have towels for both of us, and I’m loading the rafts in the back of the jeep.  Come out when you’re ready.  Do you care if Samson comes with us?”

“Of course not.  As long as he doesn’t mind riding in the back seat.”  I opened the door as Violet started to chuckle.

“We’ll see what he has to say about that.”  She tossed a towel in my direction.  “Let’s go slow poke!” 

Samson acted like he had been punished at first, but he quickly recovered when he realized we were going down to the water.  We grabbed the inflatable rafts out of the back and clomped ungracefully down the rocky grade to the docks.  The smell of pine and fresh mountain air wafted around me; it was easy to see why Violet loved this place.  The cool water felt refreshing on my bare skin, and I dangled my leg over the side of the raft as we floated aimlessly around the cove next to the docks. 

After letting her get caught up on what was going on in my rather mundane and not terribly exciting life, I looked at Violet pointedly from under the hand that was shielding my eyes from the sun. 

“So why I am I here, Violet?  Spill it now.”  She grimaced.  “Or maybe the better question is why you are here?”

“I had to get away and think about things.  Life was getting way too complicated out in California.”  She didn’t meet my gaze, and that worried me more than any of the words coming out of her mouth.  I’d know Violet since we were kids; she couldn’t fool me and she knew that as well as I did.  Whatever she had to say would come out eventually; I had no idea it would be of such epic proportions.

“I’m thinking about quitting.  I don’t think I’m cut out for this lifestyle Gillian.”  She swirled her hands in the water and turned her raft around in slow circles.  “I don’t want to say that Erin hoodwinked me into going, but I’m beginning to feel like that.  The worst part is that he’s self-destructing before my eyes.  He’s in rehab right now, and I’m not sure what things will be like once he gets out next week.”

I waited for her to continue.  “This is nowhere close to where I saw myself at this stage of the game.  The money is great and I’ve been able to save quite a bit over the last couple of years, but it’s not worth the hassle half of the time.  I love to write, and I certainly have been able to draw from my own life experiences to keep the hits coming for us.  But I’m always afraid I am one song away from waking up on the side of the road with my busted pumpkin and handful of field mice.  There is no security in this business, and you know I like to have some sense of being grounded.”

“If you quit, would it be the end of the world?  What would you do instead?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.  I had planned to go to college after high school, and I just may point myself in that direction.  I know I was not the best student in high school, but I hated high school for the most part.  My motivation is different now.  I could get straight As if I put my mind to it.”

“I have a feeling that’s not all.  You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?  That’s why you’re running.”  If Violet wanted someone to candy coat it for her, then she should have called another friend. She knew I would tell it to her straight, and that is one of the reasons we had always gotten along.  “Don’t try to bluff with me either Violet.  I’ve seen that look on your face before.”

She frowned.  “He has no idea that I exist.  At least not in a romantic sense.  There are too many pretty distractions and skirts to chase.  He’s even knocked up at least one of them that I know of.  It’s like I’m his annoying, bossy big sister.  That’s all he’s ever going to see, Gillian.” 

I pondered this for a moment.  “Violet, some guys are completely blind to what is right in front of their face.  I don’t really know Erin, so it’s difficult to advise you in that regards.  The only thing that I can tell you for certain is this: follow your heart and do what is best for you.  If that means leaving California and changing the course of your life, then so be it.  If you stay for Erin, or anyone besides yourself, you will regret it eventually.  And you cannot get back the time you waste.  You know that not making a decision is also a decision.  I hope you hear what I’m saying here.”

“I do. Hear you, that is.” 

She abruptly rolled off of the side of her raft and disappeared under the water.  I waited for her to come up, but didn’t see her anywhere.  I knew she could hold her breath, so I wasn’t worried at first.  However, after about 20 seconds I sat up on the raft to see where she went.  I promptly lost my balance and fell off of my raft face-first into the lake.  As I sputtered back to the surface, I heard Violet cackling from behind me.

“Now that was funny!”  She was laughing so hard that she was practically hyperventilating.  “Let’s go grab some dinner!  I’m starving!  Race you back to the jeep!” 

She took off in the water with a burst of speed, and I knew there was no way I could catch up with her.  I looked up at Samson, who had been watching the whole thing from his post on the diving platform.  “She’s not right in the head.”  He woofed and got up to follow her back up the hill.